Welcome to the first edition of my parenting blog! I know it’s a strenuous life being a parent – I have two cats myself – so I’m here to lend the best advice that you can find from someone with absolutely no qualifications to do so. Please send any parenting concerns you have to me at this address.
Here are some opening gambits from my loyal readers:
Question: My seven year old son has begun to refuse his food. We will make a delicious dinner for him including fish fingers and chips and he just picks at it before distracting us by throwing his voice and then feeding the food to the dog. We also suspect our dog is gay if you can help with that too.
It’s common for kids to refuse their food at this age due to their changing hormones. At the age of seven young boys usually start to become obsessed with women and so are more cognisant of their body image. My advice is not to be concerned if he goes without eating for a while because by the time he is 15 he’ll be drinking beer and eating kebabs two or three nights a week. Any weight he loses in the preceding years will be made up with interest during his teens. As for your dog, please consider the book “So Your Dog is Gay?” by Paul Smithers. It won’t answer any questions but there are hilarious pictures of dogs with pink ribbons in their hair.
Question: What is the right age to teach my eight year old son about the birds and the bees?
Question: My 11 year-old daughter drinks a bottle of vodka a week. I want her to cut down as I simply can’t afford it anymore. How do I break the news to her?