Hope you have a strong bladder

I promised myself that I’d blog after my first exam so within two hours…here I am.

Today was Public Relations, a less bullshit subject than it sounds. I entered the exam with the words of my lecturer ringing in my ears: “No waffle…” (queue dramatic echo of the word “waffle”).

Let me take a step back for those who are not sure what my education history is. Just briefly, I promise. I’m one of those computer whiz guys, degree in IT, loves starting at screens with a frown on my face hoping that my features say “I’m very challenged at the moment but just you wait, I’ll solve it”. And then of course I do solve what was probably a very simple problem and everyone goes “wow, did you see the frown? It must have been a very complex technical issue.” Hehe…

So I got disillusioned with IT – and specifically working for big business – so I decided to go back to college in the evenings and do a post-grad in journalism and media. I’m 2/3 through now with one more semester from September – January ’07.

That’s the history.

Today’s exam really opened my eyes to a few peculiarities. First of all nothing is allowed in the exam room except for your pens, watch, wallet and any food or drink you might have (I don’t think that includes a pint and a chicken curry). You have to bring any bags, coats or personal belongings down to a “cloakroom”. I put it in quotes because most cloakrooms I use have a ticket service that means I’m the only one who can claim by own things back. This is just a free for all. On the wall is a sign that says “items left in this room are at the owners risk….blah blah blah”. So the college force you to put your personal belongings in a room that people have unfettered access to but then tell you that if anything gets taken, it’s not their problem? So, ok, I could leave my mobile phone and mp3 player at home but what about my coat? And what about girls who are wearing skirts and have no pockets? They have to leave their keys down there too. And why should I leave my phone/mp3 player at home?

Sorry, really pissed me off. I think I’ll have a word with the powers that be next week and suggest that it’s gonna end in tears for someone with their policies the way they are.

Secondly, it was announced at the start of the exam that “due to complaints” people will not be allowed leave the room for ANY REASON during the first hour or the last hour compared to the first and last half-hours for previous exams. There’s me downing a litre of water and I’m expected to rely on bladder control for that last hour. Completelty over the top, ridiculous. All that happens now is that instead of 100 students going out for a slash during a two hour period, they’re now going out during a one hour period.

If this lot had brains, they’d be dangerous.

Here’s the home run. The girl in front of me COMPLAINED to the invigilator that I was chewing my gum too loudly during the exam. Can you believe this? Of course at the end of it she was all apologetic and stuff, and that’s fine, I don’t hold grudges (DIE DIE DIE!!!).

What’s next? “Excuse me invigilator but could you ask the guy in front of me to use mind power to transfer his words to paper as the stroking of his biro on paper is giving me a migraine.”

In between all the moaning, the exam went fine.

Phew.

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