I wonder if they can even count to 50?

I was half-way through writing something serious about religion and how I have no time for it, when I just got bored and stopped. My head’s been wrecked from playing this whole ‘religion’ thing around it for years now so I don’t know what I was hoping to achieve on a blog that a handful of people will read.

So instead I’ve decided to compile a nice top ten list just like Dave Letterman, except not funny.

This weekend a working-class family from Co Limerick in Ireland, scooped the largest European lottery win of all time when “da Ma” won €115m in Friday night’s draw. One of her sons gave an interview to TV and he looked like a rabbit caught in headlights, complete with teenage redneck dress sense and hairstyle.

So on that note…

Top ten ways you know that your working-class neighbours have won the
lottery:

10… The horses have gold-plated shoes.

09… The kid’s clothes have Tommy Hilfiger actually spelt correctly.

08… They hire a babysitter rather than just ‘take a chance that he won’t wake up’.

07… You now get to listen to 50 Cent on 5.1 surround speakers at 3am.

06… Someone comes around to clean up the binge-drinking son’s vomit trail from the local to the front door.

05… The 14 year-old daughter’s first child can grow up with a trust fund in place already.

04… Being unemployable doesn’t matter anymore.

03… Overheard conversations lamenting the poor performance of blue chips
– followed by a fart.

02… The mother gets highlights done in a salon rather than the usual home made chip fat/glue method.

01… They can now afford fish and chips every night!

Alright, so I’m jealous. I’d love to sit on my arse for the rest of my life. Although that’s what these people in Limerick do anyway, with or without €115m.

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