Passing the American Entrance Exam

Every time you enter America as a non-immigrant you have to make a series of declarations about your background and your physical and mental well-being so the state feel assured that you are an asset to them and not a mad man of some sort. Now some of these questions make sense such as whether or […]

Top Ten things to say to trick-or-treaters

I hate Halloween.  It was a great excuse for burning stuff and drinking flagons of cider when I was 14 but I have no use for it now.  I’m currently sitting in the back room of my deliberately pitch-dark house in the hope of keeping the usual array of greedy children and their imposing parents […]

My first acupuncturism

After over a year struggling with this bloody Achilles injury and having chalked sports massage, physiotherapy and reiki off the list of possible solutions, I decided to drop in to the herb and acupuncture store* – for yes, we have such a thing – at my local shopping centre. I’ve never once walked by it in the […]

My first man-ssage

With a string of female sports masseuses having moved on at my gym I was left with the ultimate dilemma today – do I let a boy touch my naked body? Over the last five years I’d gone through a number of masseuses: a former Olympian badminton player (badmintor?), an Asian girl who asked me […]

Dr 9Tendo’s Parenting Slot [Week 3]

Greetings to you once again from Dr 9Tendo.  Thank you for all the feedback and comments from the last few weeks. Regrettably I have been informed by my editor that the axe hangs menacingly over my column like a big sharp blade suspended by some elementary means (perhaps some pulleys and levers…or maybe just sticky […]